My new years resolution to not buy drinks at bars and restaurants
TL;DR
- I decided not to buy alcoholic drinks at bars and restaurants this year
- It’s mostly a lifestyle thing to focus more energy on what I enjoy
- I needed a rule, not guidance (e.g. I’m going to drink less)
- I still like drinking and don’t feel a need to completely cut it out of my life
- There’s a nice side benefit of saving money
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What makes me happy?
Well, according to my hinge profile (that’s a dating app mom), it’s:
“waking up early on the weekend, seeing the world, playing tennis, good wine, charcuterie boards, really bad dad jokes, hosting friends, and gift giving”
Yup, that sounds about right. I’d also throw in there challenging the mind and the body, uplifting others, and just generally staying active all the time.
I want to spend more time doing what makes me happy. And I’ve realized to do that well I need to limit my regular alcohol consumption to keep my body healthy and mind clear.
You’ll notice though, that one of the things that makes me happy is good wine. It’s not that I want to completely cut drinking from my life. I’ve tried that before (life experimentation, right?), but it feels too limiting with social situations from time to time. Some of my best memories are with drinks in hand. It’s more that habitual drinking slows me down.
So when I drink, it needs to be for special occasions or sparingly otherwise.
I needed to come up with a hard and fast rule. A rule where I don’t spend any time thinking about it, and that I can share with others so they respect it (“as opposed to, I’m going to drink less”).
The rule: I don’t buy alcoholic drinks at bars and restaurants unless it’s an extra-special occasion
The extra-special occasions are saved for full-on vacations, a bachelor party, or something similar (broke the rule twice in 2019 so far).
Bars and clubs are just not my happy place. I don’t mind giving that aspect of life. Most times when I’m out at bars I have a lot of social anxiety. I don’t love loud places, and I don’t feel super comfortable taking on big personalities of people I don’t know. I’ve fought it for a long time since bars are a big part of our culture, but it’s just not my vibe. It’s not an “avoid at all cost” type of thing – just not something I seek out. I’m plenty fine at this point in my life telling people no about going out so that I can wake up early in the morning.
Separately, I love big dinners with friends, but I’ve never loved spending a lot of money at fancy restaurants – it’s just not where I want to allocate my money. And with drinks being 4x the price at restaurants, I just see it as a bad investment. I’m actually generally trying to spend less money at restaurants, and instead spend that money on experiences. So when I suggest a restaurant I’ll suggest something on the cheaper, more casual end. Or if someone else picks a place I usually order a cheaper dish.
To me, if I’m going to blow out a night with a nice meal, hosting friends is a much more fulfilling way to do it. You have the whole process of setting everything up and an intimate scenario where everyone feels closer. I’m happy to keep the wine flowing at my place.
Removing drinking from bars and restaurants is really mostly a trigger for me to be more creative with how I spend my time and money. A little reminder to focus on what makes me happy.
It’s not a rule everyone needs. That’s cool. But it’s a rule I love. It’s made my life better. And I have no plans to stop with it.
FAQs
Q. What if you’re at a company sponsored happy hour or open bar, is that okay?
A. Yeah – I don’t need to fully isolate myself from these social situations, but I’m still conscious of how much I intake
Q. What if I buy your drink for you? I could buy the drinks and you buy the food?
A. This is contrary to the whole reason I made the rule in the first place. It’s not purely financial. However, if I do take your drink, definitely don’t expect me to buy you one back or buy something else for you
Q. What about dates? How do you take a girl on a date without getting drinks?
A. There are so many better dates than going out for drinks (hike, walk on the beach, museum, dinner followed by bottle of wine on the beach, spontaneous road trip). Also, this is you trying to apply the rule to your own life. This is not something I actively think about
Q. C’mon, what about just one glass of wine with dinner?
A. 😑
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